Little D's Silent Mutterings

   I looked at the time at the bottom of my screen and saw that it was 12:30AM. "Oh, crap. It's Feb. 1 already." I muttered. I was used to talking to myself when I'm alone, especially in the confines of my little room.

   I realized I had 3 more days left until I had to go back to school. I sat there, contemplating the fact that I had school soon, and that I had to go to new classes with new people that I may or may not know. That thought terrified me. I was never good at making new friends, or even talking to people. I was quiet, and sometimes classified as 'anti-social'.

   I heard the rain pattering outside my window, and the music coming from my iPod speakers behind me, playing Paramore's Feeling Sorry. I wondered what I would be doing in class at school, if people would talk to me, if I would just  be alone, if people would think I was weird. I always thought I was, myself. I then remembered I had friends to see, and they would most likely talk to me. 

   Then my brain switched to a different train of thought. 'What am I doing?' I asked/thought to myself. I was sitting here, typing everything that came to mind, what was happening, what I was feeling. Then it hit me. I was bored. Then I thought; "Oh, no sh*t!"

   I looked for something to do, besides reading, because I wanted to read when I was lying in bed, on my iPod. I went to visit Jairrah's blog, cause I thought her blog was pretty cool, compared to mine. After reading and roaming her blog a bit, I clicked the little box to exit the tab, and went back to writing my second post. I thought; 'Wow, I might be boring everyone who reads this.' I could be right. Or maybe, nobody would really read it. It's long, and it's just a big load 'a' crap. Just a boring description of what I was doing. I sighed, trying to think of something else to say.

  I remembered I just watched a movie a few hours ago. I saw Bring It On: Fight to the Finish with Christina Milian, and Knowing with Nicolas Cage. I love all the Bring It On movies. It was when I first saw Bring It On: Again that I realised I desperately wanted to be a cheerleader. I was anticipating growing up and being in High School in CSA and becoming a cheerleader, but then I had to move here. What I got was even better. 

   I met Jazmin at school, and she was a cheerleader. We became pretty close, almost best friends--except I wasn't really sure, because sometimes she treated me like shite. She told me that she was an All Star Cheerleader, and that I should join. I told my mother, and she told me I can only join when I'm in college/high school so that we could see if I could balance it out with other priorities. I did join, because I wouldn't have let it go. Ever. Anyway, that wasn't my point. I got carried away. I love Bring It On movies because they inspire me to want to be better even more, and because I think they're really cool.

   Knowing was a pretty good movie too, although really... suspenseful at times. I even screamed once, which is something I don't do often when watching movies. The last time I screamed in a movie was when I saw 'Taking Lives' and I forced myself to see what happened next, even when the music was all scary and my gut told me something is gonna scare the sh*t outta you.  I liked the whole thing with numbers, and that someone could (sorta) predict the future. I almost cried when they had to separate, but I didn't, cause I tried really hard not to. Well, it wasn't that hard. I was trying to learn how to be expressionless at all times. I failed quite a lot, because I would smile at a few jokes, then realize I just showed an emotion. The ending of that movie failed though. It sucked cause it didn't really... say much, or it sucked just because it did (I can't explain a lot of things.) Me, my mom and my sis thought that it was another Nicolas Cage movie that had a bad ending. The other one was The Wicker Man. It was weird.

 I just remembered that my book list was wrong, somehow. On this blog, it said I had 59 books listed so far for the Reading Challenge, but on my Excel file -- I'm quite organized with some stuff, like books. On that MS Excel file entitled 'Books', there are 3 sheets; the first is for series. Like, the Southern Vampire Mysteries, and the Evernight Series. It tells the names of the series, the number of the particular book in that row, the names of the books, the author, a box that's got a heart (♥) if I've read it, another box with a dot (•) if I own it, and the number of times I've read that book. The second is for Singles. E.g. Avalon High by Meg Cabot, and Fairy Tale by Cyn Balog. They have the same titles (Title, Author, Read? Owned? and X READ) from the previous sheet, just without the name of the series. The third sheet is my reading list. It's numbered from 1 to how many books I decide to read that year, the name of the series that book is in, the title, author, date started and date finished, and times read after reading it, just like the one I put on the blog for J. Kaye's 2010 100+ Reading Challenge. -- On the file, it says that I've decided to read 61 books so far this year. I tried to count and stuff, but the numbers are off, and the books aren't. They change with the Princess Diaries, which was supposed to be books 43 - 54. So if you think you know what's wrong, don't hesitate to tell me.

 I put my foot up on the other chair and decided what to do next. Listening to Naturally by Selena Gomez, I decided that, since it was 1:40AM, I should get ready to go to bed. I took of the clip holding my hair up, put my glasses away -- things are a bit... far (about 2 of my hands away) are blurry -- and turn the fan on 2. 

  I closed all the other applications that were running on the computer, took my iPod off the dock, put it back in it's case and turned off the computer. -- not really, cause then I wouldn't  be typing this. -- I turned on the light beside my bed and turned off the bigger light. I plugged in my nightlight loosely and made sure the string attached to it was good -- I cut up a piece of string and tied it around my nightlight, because it was pretty bright, and I preferred it a tad bit darker, but I couldn't do anything about it except pull it off. I don't like rolling in my bed when I felt sleepy and decided I could handle the dark, because it wakes me up a bit. So I tied the string to make a sort of lasso and tied one part to the light, and another on a corner of my bed, so all I had to do was pull the string and the light would come off for me to put back on tomorrow/today -- and climbed into bed. I took a sip of water that was on the bookshelf right above my head. The bookshelf held my most prized possessions -- aside from my iPod and a few other things. My books. Anyway, I put the water back on the shelf, and settled onto my pillow. 

   My iPod was right beside me, so I picked it up and turned it on. I started to read. I was reading Michelle Zink's Prophecy of the Sisters and thought it was... okay. I haven't read much, but that was gonna change pretty soon. I got sleepy, and tired, and decided to stop reading and continue at 1PM, when I usually woke up. 

   I prayed to God to lay me down to sleep, and apologized for all of my wrongdoings, thanked him for everything, and asked for a good dream. Soon, I fell asleep, pondering about what I should do tomorrow.

Night, peepz!

Mwah.